Picked up a random poetry book From the crowded shelf. Quick easy hour read: Delight and wonder. Then, Found…
Daydreams and Depression
“Buy a Blue Light. Sit in front of it for twenty-two minutes every morning,” says my psychiatrist. This is to avoid her increasing the dosage for my depression medicine. The blue light will also improve my energy levels throughout the day.
I sit in front of a bright white light with the timer running, not in the morning, but Saturday afternoon. My brain is mush and my muscles refuse any motion.
Mentally, I am hiking on one of the Boise Foothills trails, traversing up the winding path amidst the bitter-brushes, sagebrushes, hackberries, toadflaxes, and blue mountain buckwheats. The plants provide a variety of greens, blues, violets, yellows as I wander alone up the gentle slope. I breathe in and out increasingly heavier as my feet rise and fall on dust-covered gray rocks and dips in the dirt.
My mind concentrates on one foot in front of the other. A hawk screeches somewhere close by. A scurry in the undergrowth catches my attention. A red fox trots determinedly down the hillside; its white tail bobs to the rhythm of its feet like a kite on a string held by a running child.
Smiling, I pause to watch the fox on its mission.
Then I look behind me at the valley below. The buildings and trees all spread out silently holding safe the invisible souls moving about their own day. I am seeing a postcard stamped and delivered with earnest sentiment: Visit Boise!
I turn my attention to the trail and make my feet move once more. The red fox returns, a gray rabbit in its mouth, legs still twitching. A rabbit family must be mourning while the fox’s kits will be rejoicing at the delicious dinner.
A sudden rush of wind sweeps across my cheeks as I stare up into a blue cloudless sky and soak in peaceful contentment.
Physically, I am back home laying on the soft couch, typing and listening to my children chatting down the hall.
Depression may be something I deal with on a daily basis. I am in charge of how I choose to let it control or not control my day.
Since it is winter still, despite the fact that the sun is gradually staying up a bit more each day, and since I have Seasonal Affective Disorder, I know that I can benefit from all of the help I can get without having to take more medicine. Read this helpful article from the Mayo Clinic on “Seasonal affective disorder treatment: Choosing a light therapy box”.
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