Picked up a random poetry book From the crowded shelf. Quick easy hour read: Delight and wonder. Then, Found…
Flexibility No Matter Your Role
I watch the local news channel and hear that our city Christmas tree has fallen down in the heavy winds, just a day before it was supposed to have a special lighting ceremony.
I imagine what the workers are feeling as they try to secure the tree for people to safely see it. This reminds me about what it means to be flexible.
As a mother, I often plan to do different things with my girls, like taking one of them to spend the night at my parents, or arranging a playdate with a friend. Sometimes, one of the girls gets sick, or makes poor choices and loses the opportunity to do something rewarding.
As a wife, flexibility means knowing when my spouse needs help with a chore he deems important and scheduling time together whenever we can get it. We had a date night scheduled last week. Our daughters were each going to our different parents’ houses to stay the night. My mom called that afternoon to say they were sick and couldn’t have our oldest over. We ended up taking our twelve year old daughter out to dinner with us, and then, played games with her. The evening turned out unexpectedly delightful as we hadn’t had one on one time with her for a while. The next night we did go to dinner and a movie by ourselves. We understand how our best intentions do not always play out the way we expect.
As an author struggling to market my first book while continuing on with my regular job and family obligations, being flexible means not being so disappointed when I do not hear back from specific markets. I have to just keep trying to get my book out to whoever might be interested in. I was excited to see today that I have a new customer review on Amazon.
As a woman dealing with depression and anxiety, flexibility drives my daily ability to make it through each day. I am often so harried by trying to do the right thing for everyone around me at every second of the day that I am left feeling emotionally exhausted.
Licensed Psychologist, Andrea Umbach, explains, “Adults and children must find a balance between structure and spontaneity. Structure allows for a framework, choices, and some flexibility, but rigidity means you follow the rules — or else,“ (Umbach).
I know I need to have the structure of a work routine to get me through the week. At the same time, I can not predict or plan for everything that is going to come up as a change in the schedule. I can choose to freak out and let the change ruin my outlook for the whole day, or I can go with the flow and let things happen as they do.
A year ago, there were days that I felt like a failure stuck in the bottom of a well with no life-line. I would come home defeated and unable to interact with my family. Now I know balancing my mental health between flexibility and routine makes for much better days so that I come home feeling positive instead of stressed.
Umbach recommends a few strategies for decreasing anxiety and increasing flexibility, such as, “Embrace opportunities,” “Go with the flow,” and “Let it go”. How to do each of these is up to you. The key I have found is to take deep breaths when things arise that cause my heart to beat in a panic. I do not have to let little things like a tree falling over destroy the opportunity to find something positive out of the situation.
Check out some other helpful tips I have learned along the way in my novel, Married to an Atheist A Love Story from Idaho.
Blessings to you!
Reference:
Umbach, Andrea. “10 Ways to Reduce Rigidness, Decrease Anxiety, Increase Flexibility, and Have More Fun.” Huff Post, 14 Jul 2013. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/how-to-be-flexible_b_3534929.
Being flexible is a sign of growth. The trick to being flexible is to bend with the winds rather than breaking because of them.