Picked up a random poetry book From the crowded shelf. Quick easy hour read: Delight and wonder. Then, Found…
Isolation, Love, and a Pandemic
Family therapy session
Includes a small sandbox,
With tiny rakes and brooms,
crescent, spiral, and fan shapes,
Miscellaneous toy figures:
Salamanders, centipedes, scorpions,
Fox, wolf, chickens, lobster,
Little blue gems,
A tiny knight with an arrow and bow extended,
A tiny knight with a sharp sword,
Little people without faces,
A princess wearing a flowing white gown,
A treasure chest and a battleship.
Follow directions:
Take turns creating a scenario from home.
Try to understand why and how
What’s happening, when, and where.
Understand your partner’s point of view,
Don’t interrupt each other,
Just listen.
Be present.
Enduring quarantine is rough enough;
Experts say divorces will rise,
Stress, sadness, irritability,
Anger, confusion, isolation;
Extroverts and introverts alike
Struggle to cope,
To stay together,
For better or worse.
The sandbox exercise helps,
Brings forth reminders:
How much you care,
And the reality for how you both act,
Responding to each other,
Alone together in a box of a house,
With perhaps kids and work,
Distractions but still boiling points maybe
Rising like the surging volcano on a
New Hawaiian island.
Dr. Ann Gucho, a noble mentor, suggests:
“Limit your exposure to the news.”
“Make something.”
“Get organized. “
“Get outside.”
I say, from a lifetime of ups and downs,
Make a point to schedule time together.
Friday night is our family night:
Games, movie, or backyard campfire,
We make the effort to leave our individual
Rooms and be present with each other.
Every other Saturday night,
Date night is on the calendar:
Takeout entrees,
Renewed conversations about interests,
Memories, and ambitions;
Walk along the river, holding hands
Like the lovebirds we once were,
And then a closed-door retreat to watch
An entertaining film with kettle corn and
Sweet beverages;
Date night is a priority,
Keeps us grounded
As the pair of doves sitting on a rooftop,
Committed to each other for life.
The sandbox practice enables
Honesty and enlightenment.
Scheduling time and following through
Is a necessary
And powerful
Requisite to any relationship,
Especially during a pandemic.
What’s on your calendar?
Reference:
Buscho, Anne Gold. “Relationships in Quarantine: The Good, the Bad, and the UglyHow to survive lockdown with your spouse, whether divorcing or repairing.” Psychologytoday.com, 6 Apr 2020. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/better-divorce/202004/relationships-in-quarantine-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly.
Here are some other fun ideas for your families: