Picked up a random poetry book From the crowded shelf. Quick easy hour read: Delight and wonder. Then, Found…
Understanding Grief and Finding Peace
Yesterday, my cousin Katrina unexpectedly passed away in her sleep. She was 39 years old, just five months younger than me. Those of us left behind are wondering why. I know God’s timing is special and different for each of us. I know God uses each of us to some how make a difference in the life of another person (even when we do not expect it). Still, the absence of someone dear to your heart is never easy to accept.
Tonight, as I was visiting with my extended family, I couldn’t help but feel this elephant in the room. We were together because my cousin was not there. Any other Wednesday night I would just be at home with my daughters and husband. While I am grateful for this time with my extended family, I am deeply saddened at the reason behind it.
My Uncle Bud, who is a hospice chaplain, gave Katrina’s mom this book, called The Four Agreements, to help her find understanding and peace.
Don Miguel Ruiz explanation for his The Four Agreements as a reality check: how society seems to have set us up to live in fear, grief, sadness. Ruiz outlines how we can live more fully by transforming our beliefs, our patterns of thinking, and our reactions to situations “to a new experience of freedom, true happiness, and love.”
I haven’t read this book yet, and honestly, I am confused at how dealing with the loss of a loved one fits into this Four Agreements idea to the powerful transformation of the soul, heart, and mind that would help a grieving mother or cousin. Yet, I am intrigued at the possibilities this book has to offer those of us left behind.
Ruiz‘ Four Agreements are as follows:
“1. Be Impeccable With Your Word.”
“2. Don’t Take Anything Personally.”
“3. Don’t Make Assumptions.”
“4. Always Do Your Best.”
(Visit his website to learn more and to watch an introductory video.)
What I see from these agreements is that the work I have already been doing to transform myself correlates with how I communicate with others. Since I am planning on seeing a lot of my family in the next week leading up to my cousin’s memorial service perhaps I can find a way to share the wisdom I have learned from others, especially everything I learned while writing my book. We can each learn from each other after all.
God doesn’t want us to go through anything alone. We are never alone. What we have is each other to get us through the tough and the good times.
I thank God for the memories I have of my cousin. Even though her death is a puzzle, I know that in time God will reveal His master plan to us.
In the meantime, I sit between my two daughters and cherish every moment with them. Each day is a priceless gift!
Please heck out my book on Amazon! I need more people to buy it and review it! Share it with your friends! Let me know what you think! Help me make a difference for other people by sharing my own insights on faith journeys and on mixed-faith marriages.
Reference:
Ruiz, Don Miguel. The Four Agreements: Wisdom Book. Don Miguel Ruiz, 2019. https://www.miguelruiz.com/the-four-agreements.
P.S. Aunt JoAnn I love you and am here for you!